Dustin Johnson's "Major" Curse...

Wow. I mean... Wow. I don't want to take away from Martin Kaymer's well-deserved victory, but good-golly-miss-molly~!

How do you explain what happened in the final round at Whistling Straits except for complete disaster?

QUESTION: Could this 2-stroke penalty on Dustin Johnson been prevented if the Rules Officials themselves roped off the bunker or marked it OB in the first place?

ANSWER: Yes.

Why bother having rules officials set up a golf course for a Major Championship if they can't do it right? Blocking off a trap in deemed "in play" is a basic rules official task? No?

As Dustin stepped onto the 18th tee-box with a 1-shot lead, par was all he needed. Dustin blasted his drive WAY left into the "crowd". The lye was stomped and trampled for (most likely) 6 days prior, as practice rounds and regular play rolled through.

After Dustin missed a small put to win the tournament, Martin Wilson, head of the the PGA rules committee, notified Dustin of his error. Good thing Dustin wasn't a crazy woman with PMS!;) He then told the media (after the 2-strokes were made final) that he would take Dustin into the CBS truck to show him a larger image of him grounding the club. Wasn't that nice of Martin? (middle finger up in air).

Dustin knows the roles of golf, that's not the point. Dustin's 18th hole situation needed proper assistance, clearly. A good friend was penalized 2 strokes last year on the Duramed Futures Tour because her dad fell into the bunker while walking alongside her as a "spectator". Her playing-competitor said that her dad was "testing the sand" and called on the Rules Official who concurred. Aside from the fact that the playing-competitor is a giant-beeotch, this situation is in the same family... Spectators don't belong in traps!

So, like... maybe Martin Wilson shoulda taken better control of markings and roping... but it's never "their" fault is it? It is this time! Too bad that Dustin had to take the cake...

Confirmation on the Conformation!

Sarah Brown + Conforming PING Wedge = Disqualified? WTF?

Here's the scoop: Sarah Brown, a Duramed Futures Tour Player, was DQ'd because a rules official decided to pull her off the course for using a wedge they "thought" to be non-conforming. Her dad pleading for her to at the least finish her round, (being 3 shots off the lead and about to have her best showing EVER in competitive golf) was denied that right - And then, OOOOOOOOPS!? Sarah's wedge was totally conforming... like, sorry.

Head in my hands and vomit feeling in my tummy...

"We made a mistake," said David Higdon, Chief Communications Officer for the LPGA.

Sarah being the sweet girl that she is, agreed that people make mistakes. Here's the deal Sarah... YOU PAY THE FUTURES TOUR/LPGA so that YOU CAN PLAY PRO GOLF. Knoweldgeable staff is hired to execute a job well-done. This week was a payday and a movement in rankings, and that was taken away, by error.

Zayra Calderon, (CEO of the Duramed Futures Tour) has officially apologized to Sarah for the mistake. Zayra is the same person that noted when I was playing the DFT and on the player board that, playing on the Duramed Futures Tour was not about making a living, it was about learning how to get to the next level, it's a "developmental" tour. Ahhhh yes, Wendy's Chili and rollin' 5-deep at the Knights Inn was a way of life in 2004... :)

Making a living is an issue, especially with what it costs to be out there. Sarah Brown needs a GIANT apology from the LPGA in payment/exemption format of 5K and an entry into 2010 LPGA Qualifying School. A sorry band-aid from Zayra or a media shout-out from Higdon is politically correct, but perhaps not the be-all-end-all. These ladies fight on and off the course to have a slim-chance at success in Women's Golf, there is little to no money to be made in the Futures purses and sponsorships. These ladies find a way to fund their dream that essentially runs a loss and forever remains a gamble. What happened to Sarah was unacceptable.

Women's professional golf has too many hard-working individuals and world-class athletes to have mediocre tour management that make silly errors that not only cost the growth of the tour, but inevitably hold back success of rising stars.

Paula's Comeback is AWESOME!

Pretty in pink, Paula Creamer won the US Women's Open with style, elegance and determination. To be honest, I think she was more shocked than anyone else... She was challenging the top of the leaderboard the whole time!?

Following up with some of my friends and colleagues who played the Open and the ever so fabulous Oakmont Golf & Country Club said the course was difficult and sooooo not friendly! Paula was able to battle and close the deal with a 4-shot victory. Oakmont is Paula's BFF if you ask me!:) It was amazing to see, and this is EXACTLY what the Women's Golf World needs, a cute pink heroin with poise and grace who can deliver results.

Congrats! Xo.

Embarassment at it's Peak!

Today I set my alarm to make sure that I had my Starbucks in hand to watch "The Tiger Woods Press Conference" live streaming on TMZ in addition to simultaneous live CNN Coverage on the tube.

I thought it was clever of him to time this the way he did, Accenture got a pinch on the butt-cheeks:)

I then proceeded to work all day and listen to CNN "babble on" and "break down" the "Tiger Woods breaks his Silence Conference". It's still shockingly awkward and uncomfortable to hear the media talk about Tiger Woods and Golf. THE BEST was CNN interviewing Nick Faldo?! WTF?! Hahahaha... that is like taking AA recovery tips from a drunk! How soon we forget how Faldo's ex smashed his beloved Porche with a 7-iron... I am SOOO over this hypocritical mess that is making a mockery of my sport.

I officially feel bad for Tiger, and although he may have "deserved" to be "punished"... Having a porn star who looks like the Wendy's chick "all-grown-up" crying her eyes out talkin' bout how she wants Tiger to apologize to her when he's trying to apologize to the world? How embarrassing!!!

Your 5 minutes of fame is up. Move on ladies...

I like Dustin Johnson.

Who says Golf is getting boring? I like Dustin Johnson, I think that he's a great guy! He seems like a genuine chap. I'm happy he won, despite a seriously awkward ending...? ;p How about that hot & steamy awards presentation where Clint Eastwood and Du-Jo shared the stage;) David Duval making a comeback isn't too shabby to watch either... Nice...

A few years back, Kim Kouwabunpat and I were at the Honda Classic, we were introduced to Dustin through a mutual friend on tour. He "told it like it is", he "kept it real", if that means anything to the ol'folk. Basically, in the first few moments we were talking about sports, music, college, and local hotspots, it wasn't uptight. He didn't have his khakis in a wad;)

There was a rain delay so we got to hang out and talk golf for a bit, he was a rookie on tour at the time. We were explaining what Play Golf Designs http://www.playgolfdesigns.com/ was and told him that we were doing at a PGA Tour event, other than chillin' with bloody mary's;) Funny you should ask Dustin... Basically, at the time we thought it would be cute to advertise with the PGA Tour and waste money. Note to self: Advertise with the PGA Tour during Majors.

I liked that he selflessly asked about Women's Golf and didn't brush it off with what he was going to do on the finishing dog-leg left hole. He cared y'all.

Seeing him win again yesterday made me smile. Dustin Johnson gets a Golf Couture stamp of approval. Good to see the young guns in action, keep it up!

My Take on Tiger

I would have bet Judy Rankin to crap her Depends before Tiger Woods debuted as a 45-minute HOT TOPIC on Nancy Grace last night! Wow. Seriously.

This is TIGER WOODS! The man. The legend. The daddy-mac that "be texin' ho's in different area codes?" Hmmm...

I am the BIGGEST Tiger Woods Fan in the world (and oddly after last night, so is Nancy Grace?). The only other superstar bigger than Tiger Woods is Michael Jackson. What do they have in common? Other than being all over my bedroom walls (blushing), they'll continue to be back-stabbed and lied about by media at any and all costs!

"Da couzin of da' couzin of da man that washed Tiger's Escalade lass Fryday" will come up with some story to sell to media. We ALL will act shocked as each detail emerges! Coincidentally, we ALL reside in a bigoted and intrusive society and all that glitters isn't gold. Does it matter if we know if Tiger is promiscuous or not? Really?

Another vixen has stepped on to the tee-box of cheats and lies. The only thing that this story is helping is that Golf is now cool enough to grace The Cover of US Weekly and National Enquirer! Like, even Graeme McDowell got a shout out on TMZ! Can I getta "waat waat"! Sick Coverage Dude!:)

What's your favorite part of this HOT "F''n MESS? The visual of the actual accident in which Tiger and Elin say it went down, TMZ's crack-addict coverage, or the bizarrely slow-dispatch in the 911 call that I can now hear in my sleep because it is on every channel and website?

My favorite is Rachel Uchitel. She's quoted saying intellectually stimulating things like, "I've never sex-texted in my life!" (fart noise) I feel bad for her if she didn't do anything:( Awwww... Gloria Allred will make betta fo' you:)

THE LESSON LEARNED: The next time you see Tiger (or J-LO) on the tube or in the magz lookin' all "glam and fab"... be grateful that you aren't a hot piece of *** and you don't have millions of dollars from various global corporate entities that people want to steal from you. Smile and take the kids to McDonalds! :) It is a happy place with no painkillers... Just Cheeseburgers, which can take the place of painkillers...

50 Cent is in Lakeland Florida Homies!

Yo check it! So Elena Kurokawa and Grace Woo, former UNLV Running Rebels and current Golf Hotties, were in Lakeland Florida for Duramed Futures Tour Q-school and just wanted to fill their Chevy Cobalt Rental with gas! Little did they know that they were going to bump into the G-Unit Creator/Wangsta himself... 50 CENT!

So Grace spotted him on his cell and immediately informed Elena that it was him. Elena was like "Oh my gosh Gracey, no it's not." To which Grace responded "Yes it is!" and then started screaming. I couldn't help but wonder... What if they were in a Pontiac and drinking Vitamin Water?

So they went over and asked his 5-man entourage if they could have a picture. The one guy, who we now think is head of 50-Cent's "posse", told them "no". He was obviously jealous that 2 hot asian-golfing-goddesses didn't want a picture with him. (LOSER!) Elena and Grace never gave up, "Please. Please. (5 second pause) Why not? Please?" they persisted.

All of a sudden... there was a knock coming from inside the vehicle. (Not the Cobalt, the Yukon) Fiddy was waving them over to his window for a pic! "HIP HIP HOORAY!" Elena and Grace cheered:)
50 was really busy on his phone and didnt have time to chit chat and talk about his next album or nuthin. He just smiled and tickled them like little Pillsbury dough boys!

"I used to think he was cute. Now I am obsessed! I love 50 cent!" Said Elena as she drove out of the "Raceway" gas station on her way to Huntington Hills Golf Club for the Duramed Futures Tour Qualifying practice round. The tournament starts on Monday November 2 - Friday November 6, 2009. http://www.duramedfuturestour.com/

Best of luck ladies! Oh and it was Grace's Birthday yesterday too! "Go shawty, it's yo' Birfday!" Xo.

David Letterman's Extortion Guy wears Titleist Hats

Has anyone else noticed this trend over the last few weeks? Robert "Joe" Halderman, the "not very nice" man accused of trying to extort $2 Million dollas from David Letterman, officially wears Titleist hats everywhere!

Here he is in a white Titleist hat picking up laundry or what appears to be some sort of dry cleaning:

Here he is again, rockin' the same Titleist hat that he was wearing the the first picture. This time he seems to be smiling in a beach chair:

Golf Cart DUI

Hi Everyone! I've missed you!!! Big Hugs:)
So glad that Michael Jackson has been buried. It has been really sad to come to terms with it? But the blogging must go on... RIP MJ...

Flipping through the Internet and twitter-world, I stumbled upon an article titled, "New York Woman charged with Golf Cart DWI" from @golf_fiend. Confused, yet... intrigued ;p...
Boston Globe: DOVER PLAINS, N.Y. - A 45-year-old woman, Maureen A. Conklin, was charged with driving while intoxicated after state troopers pulled over her golf cart late at night on a rural highway in Dutchess County.....

"At $29.99, "Bubba’s Remote Controlled Beer Cart" offers users the option of having beer delivered via a mini golf cart. Features include: a golf bag shaped remote control, a removable roof, and working head / tail lights. Finally, a chance to bring your love of golf, gadgets, and alcohol together!"

What a COOL gift! ...Unless your name is "Maureen A. Conklin" and you have a "Golf-Cart-DUI":(

Note to the friends of Maureen A. Conklin: Do NOT buy "Bubba's Remote Controlled Beer Cart" for her. Maureen would feel "uber-awkward" if like... she opens up her gift and it's a cool toy-golf-cart with a beer strapped to the back of it! She would totally think of how "uber-drunk"she was on the golf course that day!

Update: Our media department has just obtained this photo of the arrest...

A Tribute to Michael Jackson: The King

What does Golf have to do with Michael Jackson? For me, a lot! Ask any golfer if Michael Jackson has played a role in their lives, and I'm sure they'll have a story. The sudden death of a King has hit me harder than I'd imagined, he was never supposed to die, not like that. Not without a strong finish...

Sitting in my basement at 3 years old, watching "The making of Thriller" on VHS... over and over. Hugging my knees on the couch, my hands covering my eyes, I'd peek through my fingers to watch. Terrified, I'd run to my parents room in tears, but I couldn't take my eyes off of him, he was mezmorizing, he was Michael Jackson! AND - I was back again the next night for more...

Every album is on my ipod. Every song has a memory and a meaning - a feeling. Over the years, I've practiced multiple hours on the range and ran hundreds of miles with Michael. His music "moves" me... literally. "Jam" on the Dangerous album made me work harder and "Man in the Mirror" made me a better person. Life without Michael would be different in a way that drive and inspiration would be missing.

MJ is my Tiger Woods of music... Exciting, inspiring, mesmerizing, motivating, electric and talent-filled. I can't believe he is gone:(

Dear Michael,
You were a true gentleman with a soft heart. After all the negative things said, you will remain and leave our world, a kind soul and a legend. I will continue to watch your videos and hopefully one day share them with my children. I will listen to your music when I practice, travel, work, run, play and stay motivated. Despite the good, the bad and the ugly; Yesterday, today and forever, you are a hero and inspiration to me. I've never met you, but felt I knew you. I've never touched you, but you've moved me. I will love you forever . Rest in peace. Xo.

My favorite song (if I had to pick one) is "Torture"... with a slide show to go with:) Enjoy...

The Bethpage Game Face

What's is going Golf Crazies? I've been on the road trying to move mountains therefore, putting the Golf Couture blog to the side:( I feel like, "totally" bad about it, but I am soooo over it - and I think that like, you should get over it too... K?

SO... Let's talk about Tiger. I mean, WTF? The chip-in on 17 last week at the Memorial... Is he real? OMG! By far the 2nd most exciting chip-in, number 1 being the 16th hole at the Masters!!! ...minus the clumsy high-five with Steve-O:) LOL:)As we prepare for the 2009 Men's US Open at Bethpage Black in Bethpage New York... I ask myself... What am I going to wear?

What's that? Oh... yes, I am going. For how long? Oh... the entire week. With who? Professionals from the PGD roster. We are headed out to do a fabulous golf event, and enjoy the sights and sounds of the PGA Tour's finest.

So excited to see Tiger! (I am jumping up and down, screaming with fist pumps) Now that his leg is better I wonder how he is going to "bring it"? With the amount of work I've been doing, I've just fallen off the golf horse, but plan on getting focused and back in the saddle next week. Just like Tiger, I've got my Bethpage Game Face on!!!

Kinda wanna follow David Duval out there for a bit - Does he twitter?

Twitter-Dee or Twitter Dumb?

“I’d love it if players Twittered during the middle of a round,” Bivens said in an interview in New York. “The new media is very important to the growth of golf and we view it as a positive, and a tool to be used.”

I didn't wanna open my big mouth since that Time interview, so I had to let C-Biv take the mic first. I still haven't really honed in on my "twittering" skillz, but I understand the value of twitter on a social networking level... BUT - The idea to use it in a professional sport where you are supposed to stay focused? Hmmmm, not so much.

So like, are we gonna hear from Kobe now during time-outs in the playoffs? Never. Because...

The fact is, there is a line between fans and athletes that creates the "illusion and elite depth" of an athlete by the fan. Sure I'd like to hear from Christina Kim during her round, but at the cost of not taking her seriously! Athletes don't use their cell phones during competition or practice!!! Come on!  Athough it may increase "fan engagement", it will cost them legitimacy in the sportsworld. 

It is disrespectful if while watching an athlete to see him/her bust out the blackberry and text (twitter) the world during a game. This ain't social hour ladies... 

"If we’re going to get out of the collared shirts and khaki pants and make golf chic, hip, happening, Christina Kim is exactly the kind of player to reach out and make golf a lot more relevant.” - Carolyn Bivens

CONCLUSION: You can't get rid of khakis by twittering. It is going to take more than a mass text-message to eliminate collared shirts, and (if you haven't already) you probably should've gotten rid of your bad golf fashion during the MySpace era, right? Ha!

Twitter-Dumb.

Tiger's Trauma ain't that Bad!

Geeeeeeeeeeez. The golf media needs to chill out dude! So Tiger didn't shoot 65 and make multiple eagles and give us the usual spectacular performance... neither did Cejka. Bad final round golf opened the door for Stenson to close the deal... although with -6 in the final round at TPC Sawgrass, you kinda kick the door open your-damn-self! Good Job Stenson, happy for you and Sweden buddy! Xo.

Note to Media: Tiger will snap out of it, it's called GOLF! "I kept spinning it to the right..." says Tiger, "but I got plenty of time to fix it." O'Hair was schooled by Tiger a few weeks ago and came back with a strong win soon after. Cejka will take this and run with it. You gotta fall so you know how to get up. Simple rule of life, business, relationships and golf. Is it me or is anyone else feeling Kelly Tilghman overload? Her hair looks good though:)!

Natalie Gulbis couldn't be at the Celebrity Apprentice finale:( She played well this week with a -9 finish at the Michelob in Virginia... but nobody is paying attention to that because the world revolves around Tiger...

Obviously, I know I am not the only one feeling lost and distraught? As much as I want to lay off and give him room... I want my Tiger back...

New Tiger Commericial!

During the Nuggets and New Orleans NBA Playoff game last night, I saw the Tiger Woods Cartoon Commerical! So adorably adorable!!!:) After the Masters, it is hard to stay focused on golf!? I mean, seriously... It's NBA Playoffs... but it is good to see that the "Tiger Brand" has some good positioning! Tiger is so fabulous... Check it out!

Is that supposed to be Kelly Tilghman in the bushes? Sure sounds like her!...

Masters Weekend or Easter Weekend?

Good Easter to you! Just kicking back and figuring out how to use the whole "Twitter" deal while "Facebooking", watching the Masters, typing, talking on the phone and doing cartwheels;)

I'm going to hide Easter Eggs around the house where it is impossible to find them... and invite Jeev Milkha Singh over to find them because he ruined my Masters Pool by missing the cut and I thought he had a legitimate chance of taking home a green jacket. Jim Furyk is my runner-up, but Tiger is my #1.

SO... I know it's Easter... but why the heck am I really more excited about the Masters? Who timed this? Phil and Tiger are going to put on a show, and I am going to put on my fat pants (sweatpants) and eat my way through the day. Who's with me?

2009 Playboy Golf & Mansion

Hi Everyone! My fabulous sister, Seema, and I went to the 2009 Playboy Golf Finals in Los Angeles this past weekend. 'Twas a hoot and a holla!:) Disappointed that we missed out on Tiger's fierce victory at Bay Hill, we decided that we will make it up to him during the Masters! With all do respect, it's hard to focus on golf when it's March Madness and The Playboy Golf Finals!!!

The event was at Industry Hills Country Club, 2 courses, Ike and the Babe! Sick views and in great shape:) The minute we got there, Seema ran into the man of her dreams... Miles Austin, the Wide Reciever for the Dallas Cowboys. She was thrilled, and rightfully so! What a cutie-pah-tootie:)

Here is a shot of our group in the scramble. We played in 6-somes and our group was in the lead after the first day... -20 under par Sugar!!! Beat that! Our group rocked and playing from the red tees has its advantages;)

Lil'sis trying to hit it closer than Big sis... Sibling Rivalry... but we're on the same team...? Whatevs;)

The highlight of the round was hitting balls with Jose Canseco, who actually designs his own golf outfits:) How awesome is that?

Oh yeah, and the Finals Party is a Lingerie Party at the Playboy Mansion with all the sponsors and participants! I will leave it at that! Such a great time! For more information on how you can play in the Playboy Golf Finals, go to http://www.playboygolf.com/

March Madness with the Quigley's!

We all know that Annika is pregnant and Phil Mickelson won at Doral... but let's be honest Golf Groupies, it's MARCH MADNESS up in here!!! ;)

Golf Couture has selected the "hottest" player on the PGA Tour in the month of March and requested his "Final Four" NCAA March Madness Basketball Picks! With back-to-back solid runner-up finishes at the Puerto Rico Open and Transitions Championship, Brett Quigley is our "Mr. March" pick!

Brett Quigley: "I have to go with all four number 1 seeds; UNC, UConn, Pittsburgh and Louisville, they've all been playing well and they're looking solid, so I expect them to all move into the final four."

When asked who B-Quigs thinks will win the national title? He picked UNC to take it all! Brett was a former South Carolina Gamecock, and feels he should stay close to home...

What you don't know... Devon Quigley (cousin of Brett) got a phone call from Brett asking him to come kick-it-with-cuz in Puerto Rico. Ummmmm... sure!?!!? Devon caddied for Brett in Puerto Rico for the first time, and left him on a HOT streak! WootWoot!

Devon Quigley: "Brett's a solid player especially when he's relaxed. He hit it great in Puerto Rico and made a great putt on 18 to tie for the lead. When we're on the course we talk about basketball, the Red Sox, and when we approach the shot, we deal with it, and then go back to just talking. Brett is 15 years older, but our personalities click, we're family."

Could Devon be Brett's lucky star? He got Brett feelin' the vibe in Puerto Rico? Devon definitely bestows a calming effect... In fact, I watched some March Madness games with him this weekend in Vegas and we were on a roll! So like, could that luck have been passed on to me? If so, I'm takin' my chances... I got MIZZOU in my bracket! Go Tigers!!!

Comedian Brian Regan talks Golf

Hi Golf Enthusiasts!
A good friend of the Golf Couture Family introduced me to a Mr. Brian Regan. He could quite possibly be one of the funniest people in the world! Here he is talking about enjoying watching golf, but claims that "bird sounds" are being artificially simulated into live golf broadcasts... check it out! Really Funny stuff!!!

Jokes.com

Brian Regan - Bird Sounds

This guy is great... isn't he folks? Good times...

Tiger Travel

So like, how do you get to a golf tournament? There are several different ways... rental car, airplane, your own car, bus, scooter? Who really cares how you get there... basically I got an email from someone, who knew someone, that knew someone that lives in Miami and saw Tiger's Yacht parked outside from their condo front and center... HOT. This week Tiger tees it up at Doral for the CA World Golf Championships and we are looking forward to a first-class performance from T-Dub. So exciting!

This Weekend...

Accenture Match Play didn't turn out the way I confidently predicted. Let's just say we had to "cancel my Mimosa and Cartwheel party" cuz Tim Clark spanked Tiger from the get. What do I do with all the party hats and whistles?

Even still, Tiger is the number 7 searched figure on Yahoo.com this morning. The Tiger/Golf Channel remains excited and tomorrow will be a great day!

THE MATCH-UPS:
Geoff Ogilvy: Looking strong, good win against McIllroy. So clutch and has the most winning experience... The hottest of the final four - and isn't afraid to rock pink:)
Paul Casey: Solid this week. Great player and always has been, but still doesn't stand out in my mind? He seems to be breezing through? I want to pinch his cheeks:)
PREDICTION: Ogilvy

Stewart Cink: Always so smiley! He is too sweet! I want to pinch his cheeks too!!!
Ross Fisher: "Where you be hidin at?" This guy has great hair and is a little secret hottie! He finished T-13th at the Dubai Desert Classic a few weeks back... This will be a great match!
PREDICTION: Fisher

Championship Winner: Ogilvy

... but then again, we thought Tiger was going to DESTROY!!!?