Thursday, September 4, 2008

Croc of Sh*t

CBS Sports' Chuck Stogal discusses CROCS latest and greatest "Croc Golf Shoe" or as I like to call 'em "The Ugliest Golf Footwear Collection in the World".

Stogal reports that the Croc Golf Sandal was, "...cited for comfort, stability and, with a suggested retail price of $39.99, for 'tremendous value'" based on a CBS experiment study of a variety of golfers. (Alrighteeee then, sigh...)

Once again folks, we must decide whether "tremendous value" prevails against looking like a "jacka** monkey" on the golf course. We must review the basic rules.

The 5 "unspoken" truths of Golf Sandals:
Rule #1: You will lose at least 10 golfing buddies within the first week of purchase
Rule #2: You will lose a minimum of 5 sales deals (which you could've closed by spending $30.00 more on lower end basic Nike golf shoes)
Rule #3: You are accepting a minimum 5-shot penalty for that particular round and several future mental distractions
Rule #4: Girls (golf staff, even the chipmunks) will think you are:
a. bad at golf
b. have no style
c. frugal and sloppy
Rule #5: Everyone's laughing and feels wierd around you, but telling you "how cool" your sandals are to your face.

"Golf Sandal Wizard" and Bite (Crocs) Founder, Dale Bantham explains, "Remember, walking a golf course covers five, six miles. If we can take out some weight that other, traditional shoes don't, it will help lessen foot fatigue and chances are you will score better."
(Ya, and Britney will get full-custody of her kids back this year!)
Sorry Brit:( Research and technology are trying to prove me wrong. Clearly I'm NO "Founder of Bite", but I am the Founder of this Golf Couture blog, and my job is to SAVE YOU from fashion disasters that will take your Level of Cool to Zero!!! You are welcome:)
Image: Bite & Crocs Golf